The mind is a dangerous thing. It travels down dark corridors where memories lurk. It opens closets of pain and emotional abuse you’ve “closed” the door on. It races through every wrong path you’ve ever taken. The tears silently spill down your cheeks while those things you don’t want to think about just take a stroll down memory lane. Then there’s that conversation, you know the one… Poppa my heart feels too much, the pain cuts too deep. I never understood the extent of damage a narcissist could have on a person. Living with one for so many years almost destroyed me. Then I met one more manipulative than I could ever have imagined. The wounds opened back up, gaining access became easier with gaping sores not fully healed. I sat back, tears now gently falling, cleansing. “…Not by might, not power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of host.” Zechariah 4:6 I sat and thought on that verse.
This week had completely drained me on so many levels. You were trying to do it alone daughter. “…Not by might, not power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of host.” Zechariah 4:6 I was so overwhelmed at every turn I allowed myself to lose focus. I allowed my situation to dictate my thoughts. What I should have been saying is “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13 The devil knows our weaknesses and boy did he jump right on mine. My mind was preoccupied, not sleeping, not eating well… and so it began. He picked at my thoughts from how I see myself to the relationship that had recently ended and everything in between. Those negative thoughts hit the highway in my mind and took off. You can’t do this. Those classes you are taking are just too much. Look at you. Then the phone rings and the person on the other end skillfully makes you start to question things. He has this manipulation thing down to a science. Now I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. But our Heavenly Father, He doesn’t let go.
Get up daughter and dry your eyes. You can do this, you are more than a conqueror. I found myself going to that Scripture, “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.” Romans 8:37 Yes your heart is soft, yes you have fallen prey to manipulation that abuses the good heart I’ve out in you, but is not all for naught. The foundation under you strengthens with each tear that falls, it gives you an understanding and keen insight that a person who’s not been there wouldn’t have. Don’t regret the pain and dwell on it. Rise out of it and into what I have created for you. “…Not by might, not power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of host.” Zechariah 4:6 You are not alone, I’m there with you. I’ll catch you when you fall, My Spirit will lead you. Focus on me and your destiny. Whew. Thank You Poppa!
What are you trying to do alone or beating yourself up over because you should have done it differently or maybe not at all? Those tears that are falling, whatever caused them… it’s strengthening your foundation. Don’t you dare let the devil convince you to quit and don’t let him convince you to go back to what broke you. Focus on Christ, He didn’t hang on a cross to watch you live in defeat. He fights side by side with you, for you, you can’t fail. “…Not by might, not power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of host.” Zechariah 4:6 Stop trying to do it alone, you just don’t have to. 💛 ~ Chelle, #f8ithgal