“You’ve changed, your not the same person I met in the beginning.” Those words stung for a moment and then I began to think on them and pray about them. I was reminded of this conversation when I saw a Facebook post this morning that said, “I’m not the same soul I once was. A lot has changed. A lot had to change. So you shouldn’t expect out of me what I embodied in the past. For that part of me no longer exists.” I’ve continued to change drastically over the last year. Back then, I was a shell of a person who was barely existing. I was completely broken and the Lord continues to heal me every day. I was also reminded while writing this of a Word spoken over me, I had seen it in a vision and a sister was given it in prayer, of my mind being unraveled like a cord or rope. The Lord is freeing me, untwisting and undoing the years of emotional abuse. No, I’m not the same person I was.
Patience. The Lord has His hands full here, but more than anything I think I have a lack patience with myself. I want that “rope” in my mind to be instantly unraveled. The tears to just go away, the hurt to just seemingly be a lifetime away, and the damage from the kinks that were bound so tight to be instantly smooth. Those kinks and those knots took years to form and God is using the unraveling, the smoothing to strengthen me and encourage others. The crevices from the kinks and knots are deep and old mindsets try to resurface. For awhile, I tried to dull the pain with medication and even marijuana. I tried to rely on people and unhealthy relationships. All of those things merely prolonged the process, added kinks, tightening knots. The change had to come from within me through the power of the Holy Ghost. There is no way I could remain the same. No, I’m not the same person I was.
Grace and mercy. My Father, my sweet loving Father. He continued to pour His grace and mercy over me. He had His hand over me and He wasn’t letting go. He continued unraveling that rope, pressing out those kinks. I’m refining you daughter, moving you into where you need to be to take the position of your destiny for My Kingdom. Unraveling, pressing… unraveling pressing… unraveling pressing. No matter what I do, where my mind “tries” to take me, my Poppa keeps at it. The Holy Ghost sticks to me. By the time it’s over, the rope will be unraveled, beautiful flowing knot and kink free. Shining with my testimony, gleaming with the grace of God that carried me through. I am a work in progress. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my past, but God already knew I was going to make each one. He already had it in His plan to use them in my work for Him. No, I’m not the person I was. I am finally becoming the woman of God He created me to be. 💛 ~ Chelle, #f8ithgal