I went out this morning and was greeted with a beautiful view of the sun shining through the trees. Jesus has risen and is alive. He lives to free us from the sin that this world tries to bind us to. He lives so that I don’t have to face life’s trials alone. He lives so that I can face whatever is thrown at me knowing He will hold me up when I can’t hold myself up. Yes, He lives. I ran into issues refilling my migraine medication, this has caused me to have them for days now. I have been overwhelmed and stressed to the point I cannot get through the days without breaking down into tears at least once. Poppa, I’m tired. My eyes are now sore from the headaches and dizziness has the world swirling around me. I’m not okay and that is okay for now. Jesus lives to lift me, some days even carry me, when I’m not okay. Yes, He lives.
I have my first appointment with a counselor since being home tomorrow. While it is okay to not be okay, it is not okay to stay there. I recognize I need help. Emotional abuse does damage that the eyes can’t see. A typical Dr. may not see signs of it on an X-ray, but the wounds are there. They go deeper, leaving gaping wounds that turn to scars. If your not careful scar tissue can form and attempt to suffocate the life right out of you. The memories, the mind games played start to affect you in ways you didn’t even realize were still there. Current relationships become guarded as you fear no one could love you or think you are just enough. So, getting help doesn’t make you weaker. No, it makes you stronger. It doesn’t mean your crazy. No, it means some truly crazy person manipulated your head and you are getting it right.
As I write this, the Lord brought back to my memory what He had showed me in a dream and showed a sister about me. My mind, the damage done is like a twisted and knotted rope. He’s unraveling that rope, smoothing out the twist, undoing the knots and the end result is beautiful. He lives (**** smiles ****). What are you facing? What are you going through? You aren’t alone, Jesus lives! His Holy Spirit lives within the believer. His presence is forever dwelling right within you. On those days you feel like your not okay, He’s already there holding you up. He knew you were going to have that not okay day before you had it. It’s okay to not be okay, lean into you Father during those times and let Him just be your Poppa! Happy Resurrection Day my friends. How awesome, He lives! 💛 ~ Chelle, #f8ithgal