Today was not how I had envisioned it a few months ago. I was supposed to be in a new place with stockings hanging and kids coming down to see what mom and dad had stayed up through the night to wrap for them. Instead I received a text saying Merry Christmas and I love you mom, because she still calls me that. Uncontrollable tears as I prayed and ask for God to help me. Poppa, the tears wont stop, the pain no less today than 2 months ago. I don’t want to cry, I just want it to stop. I feel like I’m drowning in these tears. My sweet loving Father, heard my prayers and said those were cleansing tears. When a person has suffered emotional abuse those wounds cut deep. The wounds can’t just be left untreated because they will bleed internally. God is working on the inside of me to heal those emotional wounds and the tears are an outward reflection of that. Let them flow daughter, let them flow I heard in my spirit this morning.
After a lot of prayer and tears I read my devotion and WOW, it was directly from God. I had been spending a lot of time thinking about how things happened and what I could have done to change the outcome. Today’s passage from “Destiny Daily Readings” by T.D. Jakes said, “We can drive ourselves crazy wondering why something happened or trying to force something else to happen the way we think we should or the way we want it to. But Destiny followers realize early on this journey that their steps are truly ordered by God. If God has called you to a task, God will bring you through it and to it. It may not look like you planned it would, but God is faithful and will bring things to pass- in God’s special timing.”
I was amazed once again, that was an on-time word directly for me. Pastor Jakes published that in 2015, but God knew I was going to need to read it on Christmas Day 2019. Look at God. “Man’s goings [are] of the LORD; how can a man then understand his own way?” Proverbs 20:24 The Lord directs my steps, so I do not need to understand everything along the way. He has even made room for MY errors, He has planned it all. How amazing is that? Look, I don’t know what you are going through but maybe you are like me and you aren’t on a perfect path. I just want you to know it’s okay. God is in control. His overall plan can’t be wrecked by one misstep, He allows room for our error… He already knew the missteps we would make. When you fall, get back up. When you veer off path, get back on. He is awesome at using those things for His glory and your good. Oh, and it’s okay to cry. Tears cleanse and that cleansing is needed to wash that bad emotional trauma out. Allow your Poppa to work from the inside out! 💛 ~ Chelle, #f8ithgal